The Contest

If you are friends with me on Facebook or in real life you've had about all you can take of 'the contest'.  And I apologize, once again, for bugging the ever lovin' mess out of you for so long. 

If you aren't friends with me on Facebook then you might have missed my incessant pleas to go to PrettyDarnFunny.com and vote for me.  I'm sorry we aren't FB or reality friends, because then I could have bugged you, too.  And I would have, believe me!

Here's how it all started.  Marilee found this contest.  Marilee is my bestie.  I'm a 43 year old woman using the word 'bestie'.....  Well, it fits so there.  And Marilee laughs at me a lot.  In fact, lots of people laugh at me.  So I am either very funny or quite pathetic and laughable.  I choose to think I am being laughed WITH instead of AT.  And honestly, I have some rather strange (funny?) things happen to me on a regular basis.  I can't say why I'm always the one running across a field and cartwheeling through horse poop while 8 months pregnant but it happens.  And, when those things happen and I tell people about them, I've come to realize I'll get no sympathy, only laughter. 

Knowing all of my strange stories, Marilee thinks I'm a shoe in for this contest.  But she has found it a few weeks in and a few of the ladies already in the contest have hundreds of votes.  I bow out.  Marliee persists.  I cave and bring the camcorder.  Marilee says, "Tell the one about getting your boob stuck in the shampoo bottle" and rolls the film.  I tell it.  But I don't say the word 'boob' because this is a family web-site and who knows if they want the word 'boob' used.  Better safe than sorry. 

I submit my video and get a few votes.  I post it on FB and get a few more.  Then that darn competitive streak of mine kicks in out of no where, because I've never really HAD a competitive streak.  And even though the grand prize is a cruise (and I've been on one cruise and never wanted to go on a second) I decide I must win this contest.  I must win at ALL COSTS. 

Friends kick in big time for me.  They exhaust the little orange thumb under my video and it turns grey forever.  They can no longer vote for me and I've still got a lot of ground to make up to catch those early birds.  I beg them to beg their friends.  I start emailing people who I haven't seen in years.  I find people in my address book (the kind in the drawer under the phone!) and mail them a postcard asking for votes. 

It isn't enough.  I've almost given up on this thing.  I start thinking a consolation third place price would be just fine by me.  And then I find the break I've been look for in the most unlikely of all places.  The Mall.

I don't go to the Mall.  I'm not a Mall Rat.  Apologies to all the Mall Rats I know.  I only saw one of you at the Mall.  (Hey, Dot!)  So for me to even be at the Mall was a huge stroke of luck.  I ordered some clothes for Key online, because that is how I shop, and they didn't fit.  So I had to go to the Mall and exchange them.  On the way out I saw two guys, probably in their early 20's, lounging on the sofas.  They each had iPhones and were playing games, probably waiting on their girlfriends to finish shopping. 

At this point in time every iPhone I saw was a potential vote in my mind.  I thought to myself, "Hmmm, they don't look like they have anything better to do at this point.  I wonder if they'd vote for me if I went up and asked?"  I gathered my nerve and did it.  Both guys were happy to do it and didn't really seem to think it all that strange that I'd asked.  Wow!  Two votes, just for asking.  Then we head for the exit.  Three more votes before we get to the door.  Just for asking!  I was feeling giddy. 

And then I hit upon a universal truth.  Mall Rats have iPhones.  Every single one of them!  A new plan was hatched.  Marilee got to watch my kids while I headed out the Mall once a week to hit up unsuspecting Mall Rats for votes!  Mall Rats are extremely nice people.  They carry their phones in their hands and are easy to spot.  They all (with the exception of three people) were very happy to go to PrettyDarnFunny and vote for me.  Many of them bookmarked the site and promised to go back and vote again the next day, without me even asking them to!  I suspect that in the last month of the contest I got between 250 and 300 from those gracious people at the Mall.

Long story getting even longer....I won the contest!  Yes I did!!!!  My husband and I will fly from Atlanta to Miami on November 3rd.  Someone will meet us at the airport and drive us to the Carnival Legend cruise ship.  We will spend 7 nights aboard the ship with stops in Belize, Roatan, Cozumel and Grand Cayman.  All because Marilee insisted I record a funny story.

And that is the story of 'The Contest'.  Many, many, MANY thanks go out to my friends, family, their friends and families, Mall Rats everywhere, Facebook friends, MARILEE, and Deseret Book (contest sponsor). 

I'll blog about our trip and hope that nothing too funny happens while we are gone.  I'm going to take an extra bottle of shampoo, just in case!